Monday, March 26, 2007

It's time to talk about you.
it's been several weeks of compiling your absences into this big void that you left behind. So, it is time.

I still wake up every morning and go jogging like we used to. There’s this little silly bird which everyday, ever since you left us, chirps around my head all the time. I wonder if there’s any message you told him to give me, but I can only wonder, for I do not speak bird.

Nor did you, either. But there are many languages we did not speak and there was one that we both did and maybe I should check on the bird closer.

It’s been hard. Every time I drop anything on the floor I expect to hear you coming to check if it is edible. Filipe is turning almost two, and in his apprenticeship of table manners, he leaves a sea of crumbs and little pieces of food that you had learned to expect and I had not learned to expect to find. So every night, I silently clear them away and remember you dearly and think of how much I would love your help.

Anna is walking around with your picture – which I printed, wrongly or not, in a real-life size – still trying to figure out what forever means. And neither of us can help her, because we also have no idea how to manipulate the concept.

We miss you. Thank you for being ours, it was a privilege to be yours.

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